BADAF

When I text you, it means I miss you. When I don't text you, I want you to miss me.

Got that line from tumblr.

Today was generally a bummer. Well there were good points, like the bio long test was easier than expected and the algebra homework which i didn't do was not due today. But what made my day a piece of crap, was that I have been thinking too much. I feel so emotional today. I feel that i have hidden so much of my emotions that I am going to blow up right now.

No one is talking to me... It just makes me feel so unappreciated, and that I'm someone that is boring to talk to. I feel like an outcast. As if i don't belong anywhere. Just like a while ago, I was a loner walking around the campus. Nobody to talk to.

Another thought that kept on going through my head is that I feel that expected too much. I don't want to talk about what but it really hurts when you expected little but you get less than that...

So, generally thats my day.

Love ain't easy as 1 2 3 and a b c

WARNING! RANDOM POST!

So, it is a sunday night and i am still not asleep. Great! and its YMSAT week, the week were there are unusually long breaks and so much stuff to do. I'll bring my bio project tomorrow so... GOOD LUCK TO ME bringing this big "BALDE" hehehe.

I'm gonna see a lot of people tomorrow... and yes i am stating the obvious. I don't know what is gonna happen to the class especially after the (shush-shush). I just hope everything is fixed up And no more emotional people and useless cursing and no more haterz hating. (hehe used haterz... sorry i'm mababaw)

I feel so happy yet disappointed today. Disappointed because my brother's team lost today 33-38 and he hit a three-pointer about fifty seconds left but the game was still loss. I also got annoyed with his teammate, who was always open at the other side of the court but always misses. He got a 1-out of -13 Field goal. So... go very BV. And, I was happy because, one, finished painting "B.O.B." Blue and texted with her almost the whole day still drove me a bit crazy.

This is my most wordy post in a while so enjoy.

Because it ends...

Wow! this is the homework i really like. We had to make a monologue for Simoun after knowing that Maria Clara died. I shall post it here.

“Ako’y bigo! Lahat ng aking mga pinagplaplano ng labing tatlong taon, nasayang! Anong halaga ng pagiging pinakamayamang tao sa buong Pilipinas kung ang aking minamahal na si Maria Clara ay namatay na! Hindi ko matatangap na namatay na ang aking minamahal! Ngunit, wala na akong magagawa. Wala na siya. Wala na ang aking natitirang kaligayahan ko sa impyernong ito!

Hindi ko na maibabalik ang mga panahon na siya ay nasa aking mga kamay. Ang mga panahon, na magkasama kami ay noo’y nagdadala ng ligaya at kasiglahan ayngayo’y mga alaala lamang. Mga alaala na kusang isang tinik sa aking dibdib na hindi matanggal. Sabi nila na lahat ng mga sugat, napapagaling ng oras. Ngunit sa pagisip ko palang sa mga alaalang ito parang akong namamatay isang daang beses paulit ulit. Mabigat ang aking puso’y na hindi ka kailanma’y mararamdaman muli ang iyong pagmamahal. Mga kamay na hindi na mahahawakan ang iyong mga palad at mahaplos ang iyong pisngi. Wala na! Wala na akong makikitang iba pang babaeng mas hihigit pa sayo. Walang babae ang maipapalit ko sayo! Ikaw lamang ang laman ng aking puso. Ngunit ikaw ay wala na!

Siguro, may naibunga nga ang mga araw mo sa kumbento. Siguro ikaw ay kasama na ngayon ng Panginoon sa kanyang palasyo. Ngunit ako’y nandito, nasa impyernong mundong ito. Puno ng mga buwaya at mga immoral na tao. Mga taong dahilan ng iyong kasawian at ng aking pagluluksa. Sila dapat ang dapat magbayad! Hindi ikaw! Ikaw, na walang bahid ng kasamaan, ang nagbayad sa mga kasalanan ng mga prayleng walang ginawa kundi pahirapan ang mga ating kababyan. Ang mga Prayleng hipokrito at mga makasarili. Sila dapat ang magbayad! Sila! Kaya ikaw ay aking ipaghihiganti! Hindi ko hahayaang mapunta sa bulag na katarungan ang iyong pagkamatay. Hindi ko iyong isasawalang bahala! Magbabayad sila!”

A Fork in the Road

Someone made me realize, today, that what i was doing was wrong. Well, I kinda think so.

But it kinda hurts my pride but its just pride. I really think I don't have healthy relationships with some people. So, I really think i need to change my ways. But its going to be a long process. I can't do it alone. I can't really just begin suddenly. No matter how hard I try, alone can't change myself. I have to have God's help. I also think my relationship with God has withered. I think its a really good time to change my ways. But its also hard if your the only one who is going through this thing. Its really going to be a long hard journey. But I can do it. I can do it! With God, anything is possible.

I will be changed! I may have strayed away but I'm going back. back to square one.

Okay! I was so happy during soc sci, because I have good group mates. Algebra was awesome! I got a 27/25 in the Long Test. Bio was kinda depressing because of the results of my periodical test. Physics was really sad because my grade went down. so yeah. Its a balanced day still with a lot of high school drama, so Yeah

Don't Play With Me Fate!

I'm kinda messed up right now. I don't really know. But I don't really know how this will go but i just hate it when fate plays and toys with you. Or just maybe fate isn't playing with you. Someone else is. *sigh*

I hope I won't be as confused. I don't really know right now if i still like her or not. If i have a chance or not. Or if she is worth it or not.

PLEASE DON'T PLAY WITH ME. I'm weary and tired. I need some rest. (but this f*cking HW won't do itself) haay...

Hope this will be a fun week.

Hope that everything might be clear to me this week.

But nothing will happen if i just wish.

I have to be a man! I learned something today at church. Since it was the OPM 2 series, it talked about Filipino mind sets. Today, the "Machonurin" mindset was talked about.

The main question was, "what is the mark of a real man?". Does a real man have to be "Macho" have to dominate the family with an iron hand? NO! Does a man have to give in to the voice of his wife? NO! A real man, is someone who takes full responsibility of what he does. He doesn't try to avoid responsibility but take FULL responsibility. THAT is the mark of a real man!